First Foster Care Assignment

In my last post, I made reference to a crazy, roller coaster spring and summer. Much of that was due to the effort we were expending to be licensed as foster parents. The training, home improvements, baby-proofing, and inspections culminated in our being licensed in August. We went on the placement list the first of September. Since then, every time the phone rings, I wonder if it is "the call."

Well, "the call" finally came. We are scheduled to have a respite care placement the last weekend of September -- two sisters ages 1 and 5. They are with another foster family and we will be giving those foster parents a well-deserved weekend break. The next week we are probably going to have our first long term placement -- a 2 year old boy, 4 year old girl, and 5 year old boy. They will probably be with us for a couple of months. 

As we prepare to welcome these children into our hearts and home, I am burdened to pray for them. These months might be the only ones in their lives where they can experience the love of Christ in action. I am praying for our own children -- that they will be welcoming, generous, "on board" with us in this ministry.This is a huge undertaking that we would never take on unless we felt the call of God on our lives. 

Even with the Lord's calling and blessing, I know there will be tough times and lots of adjustments. Satan has already begun throwing his fiery darts, and we need to be walking in love and grace like never before.

I will chronicle this journey, no matter how messy it may be. In order to protect the privacy of our foster children, I cannot post identifying details or photos, so any images I use will be generic ones and not children in our care.

Faten your seat belts and come along for the ride!

Quick update

I am just making a quick update in case anyone wonders if I fell of the face of the earth!

This spring and summer were beyond crazy, and I had to make difficult choices on how to spend my time and efforts. The more I let the blog go, the easier it became to ignore it. The tougher life got, the harder it was to write posts that were honest and transparent. Now I am at the point where I need to either overcome my embarrassment and post something, or abandon my blog altogether. I am choosing to persevere and hopefully to be more consistent.

The big news is that we are now licensed as a foster family. We can have up to 4 foster children, ages 0-7. We haven't had a placement yet, but we got a call about a potential placement last week, so at least we know we are in the loop!

Basketball practice begins in full swing tomorrow. Syd is coaching our JV boys' team, which Josiah and Gideon will be participating in, Leah will play on the JV girls' team, and David is back on the varsity boys' team. Three different practices, three days a week, plus games beginning the end of October and going through February. YIKES!

We are back in school, trying to get settled in a routine. As I've said before, "Routine is the oil that keep this machine running." Working on schedules, menus, and academic plans has been keeping me busy.

I am reading some good books lately. For daily devotions/Bible reading I am using the My Utmost Devotional Bible. I really love this. The bible is divided into 365 daily readings, one OT passage, a Psalm, Proverbs, and a NT passage. There is also an Oswald Chambers devotional reading for each day that relates to one of the Bible passages. I am always challenged to deeper faith by Chambers' writings, and they have been very timely as we have traveled this foster care journey.I am also reading Radical by David Platt. Talk about something that will make you examine the very core of your faith and walk with the Lord! This book is convicting, challenging, enlightening, and tough -- really tough. I hope to post more on my reactions to it at a later date.

I am turning over a new leaf and am determined to get more sleep. I am 90 minutes behind schedule already, so I best close for now. I am praying for renewed hope, comittment, and vision for this blog.

God is in the details

This week I spent 5 hours sitting in the orthodontist’s office with Leah. For this pleasure, I plunked down $4725.00, and we still have $1600 remaining to pay over the next 9 months. Lovely.

 Here is Leah, just hours after the braces were applied.

I think it is pretty neat that the money I earned from writing over the past several months was $4700 – just $25 shy of what we needed to get Leah’s braces started. It reminds me of a day almost 15 years ago when the caseworker from our adoption agency called and asked us if we would consider adopting Leah. We had NO money since we had just paid adoption fees for David and Miriam in the previous year. We said “yes” anyway, confident the Lord would provide the money we needed. 

The week before she was born, my publisher sent me a royalty check for the exact amount we needed for her fees, plus an extra $40 for us to go out to dinner and celebrate. What was even neater was that the books had gone to the printer nine months prior to the payment – at the same time Leah was conceived. And to think, some people don’t believe that God really cares about the details of our lives. Posh! I know He is all about the details.

  

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.  

Luke 12:6-8 (New American Standard Bible)

 

Catching a Vision

"What happened to your blogging," asked my dear friend.

The answer to this question is that I got caught up in the business of living life and failed to record it. I truly regret this because while the past few months have been incredibly difficult and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g, they have also been a time of sweet fellowship with God, of closeness to my husband that only comes through enduring pain together, and of realizing how God has blessed me with incredible friends who love and encourage me, rather than judge and condemn me. I have learned some tremendous lessons about unconditional love, trust, abiding faith, and doing the right thing when it would be so much easier to look the other way. I hope to post more on these lessons in the coming weeks.

Today I made a vision board for 2011. Basically, I wrote down 12 "visions" I have for my life in the coming year. Then I divided a sheet of paper into four columns and three rows. Next, I found pictures that illustrated my visions and pasted them in each block. It was pretty neat the way the visions fell into categories. The first row focused on my relationships -- with the Lord, my dear husband, my family, and my friends. The next row dealt with my health -- eating healthy foods, exercising, losing weight, and getting enough sleep. (Those of you who know me know I am terrible about getting by on too little sleep!) On the last row, I listed ways I hope to develop my creative side by blogging more regularly, writing letters and journaling, cooking creatively, and sewing. My next step is to print and laminate a copy to post at my desk or in my bathroom, the only two places I sit long enough to ponder great thoughts!

I hope my vision board will be a constant reminder of the person the Lord wants me to become in the coming year. I encourage you to envision what the Lord has for you in 2011. I'm sure it will have a relationships component. I highly recommend you embrace your creativity and let go of toxic relationships or activities. Look ahead to God's provision and promises in 2011.

A Reason to be Thankful

 The past few weeks have been particularly difficult for me. This morning, as I was bemoaning my situation to the Lord, He reminded of His grace in my life and how I take it for granted. Humbled, I began thanking God for His blessings.

I thanked Him for giving me the ability to write and then doubly blessing me by giving me an outlet for it. It is icing on the cake that I sometimes get paid to do it. So many people are working at unfulfilling, burdensome jobs, while I am in my own home, sipping coffee, listening to my children play outside, and writing what are essentially fun little puzzles for school children to solve.

Recently, I have been given the opportunity to edit. Besides the obvious income benefit which will provide braces for two of my children, it has been stretching and challenging. Now, I really appreciate what my editor, Gayle, has been doing for years and years. It also renews my love of writing, because I realize I can write my own stories in just a little bit more time than it takes me to edit some of the more difficult stories I have worked on, and have lots more fun! I’m not complaining. It just helps me keep everything in perspective.

Most of all, I am thankful for the gift of the Gayle’s friendship. We’ve worked together for 21 years now. In all those years, we have supported one another, prayed for each other, and have been an encouraging force in the backgrounds of each others lives. I cannot remember a cross word ever coming between us, although I’m sure I have frustrated her by not being the best at meeting deadlines. Add that to the fact that she is one of the rare people who has invited my entire family of ten over for a 4-day retreat and actually seemed happy to have us there! She is one very special person, and I am blessed to be her friend.

So, as the Thanksgiving season approaches, I am determined to be more thankful. Each day, I will remind myself of the wonders of God’s goodness and grace in my life. I am confident I will never run out of things for which to be thankful.

It Shouldn't Have to Hurt to be a Mother

It shouldn't have to hurt to be a mother...but often it does, doesn't it? And sometimes it hurts really, really bad.

This weekend I am attending an on-line mom's conference. It was never billed as a Christian conference, so I wasn't expecting great things. But I have gleaned some very good nuggets of advice.

Here are a couple of them:

It is not my job to fix my children. My job is to love them. 

As a Christian, I would interject that my job is to love them with the love the Lord has given me. Along with that, I need to share with them the same grace, patience, compassion, and gentleness which God has given to me.  Wow -- that is a tall order, and one in which I often fail. Too many times I am demanding, harsh, impatient, and unbending. That behavior comes from wanting to "fix" them. I need to move to a place of love.

When my children feel accepted, understood, and loved, then they can accept my love and direction.

If they don't feel like I love them, then how can they possibly hear me, even though I may be speaking absolute truth into their lives? If they believe they "can never measure up" to my impossible standards, then they will tune me out before I even begin.

I am responsible for the way I react to the circumstances of my life.

When I wonder whatever happened to that wonderful, fun-to-be-around person I once was, I tend to blame the people around me for making me that way. On more than one occasion, I have told them, "I used to be a really fun person. I want to be nice." What a horrible guilt trip to lay on anyone, especially my children. The real reason I have changed is because I have put a wall around my heart. I have allowed my heart to harbor anger and bitterness, and I am the one who has chased away that fun person I used to be. My family deserves to have the creative, fun, loving mom God created me to be.

It is never too late to change.

In my head, I have always known this to be true, but now I am embracing this with my heart. This pain in my life is not "the cross I have to bear." I am no longer going to struggle to just get through the day. I am going to embrace my life with all of its imperfections. The past is the past. It is time to start with the present and live each day in the fullness of God's love and grace.

The only people who truly LIVE are those who LOVE.
Let that one soak in for a while. I believe it has the power to change your life.

Our Adoption Story: The Pioneers, Part 2

Miriam and Leah

When Miriam's birthmother found herself facing another unplanned pregnancy, she contacted the adoption agency and asked them to see if we would welcome this child into our family. Now we knew that these two girls should be together, but for the life of us, we could not see where the money would come from to pay a third set of adoption fees in less than two years. (Have I mentioned that adoption is expensive -- really expensive, and that we had been a one-income family for the past seven years since Rachel was born?) Once again, the Lord blessed us and Leah joined our family. At that time, we had five children, three of whom were under two years old!

Leah and Kathleen

For the next year and a half, life was one wild, crazy blur of babies, diapers, feedings, one very sick child who required out-of-town hospitalization for almost a month, more diapers, and homeschooling our now 5 and 7-year old. To say life was full and rich and busy is an understatement. Without the grace of God and the help of family, friends, and neighbors, we never could have survived. 

5 Little Newmans

When Leah was 18 months old, we contacted the agency, telling them we were ready for another child. Open adoption was now the norm, and we were told our profile would be placed "in the book" for birthparents to peruse. I didn't think anyone would choose us. We were in our mid-thirties and already had five children. Surely other families were more appealing. Looking back, I think God had a good laugh as he examined the thoughts of my heart. Within a few months, the caseworker called and told us to expect a call from a birthmother who had narrowed her choice down to a few profiles, one of which was ours. When Carrie called on that March day, our hearts instantly were knit together in love for the precious child she was carrying and for each other. She and her mother traveled to our home and met our family, and we all just fell in love with each other. A few weeks later, she gave birth to our little teddy bear, Josiah.

Josiah, 1 month

Three weeks before Josiah's birth, I had major surgery, so I was still moving  pretty slowly. When I had my post-op visit, my doctor approved me for travel, so on the morning after Josiah was born, we set out to the Houston area. When we arrived at the hospital, Josiah was just 24 hours old. We went to Carrie's room and she graciously allowed us to hold him and marvel at this precious child. Carrie made sure I was included whenever the nurses gave any instructions and that we were part of decisions that were made. Her parents and sister were so loving to us, even though I know their hearts were breaking at the thought of letting him go.

The following day, we had a placement ceremony in the hospital chapel. All of us committed ourselves to loving Josiah and one another. There were lots and lots of tears all the way around. I cannot begin to describe the gamut of emotions. As Carrie placed Josiah in my arms, I felt elation, sorrow, heartbreak, and an overwhelming sense of responsibility because she was entrusting us with this life. My heart was heavy as I watched Josiah's birth family say their good-byes. I was so thankful we had an open relationship with them and that we all knew this wasn't goodbye forever. 

What a cutie-pie!

When we brought Josiah home, we thought our family was complete. I always wanted six children, and here they were. But, as He often does, God had other plans for us. The story of those plans will be the subject of my next post.

Syd and the 6 little Newmans

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