It Shouldn't Have to Hurt to be a Mother

It shouldn't have to hurt to be a mother...but often it does, doesn't it? And sometimes it hurts really, really bad.

This weekend I am attending an on-line mom's conference. It was never billed as a Christian conference, so I wasn't expecting great things. But I have gleaned some very good nuggets of advice.

Here are a couple of them:

It is not my job to fix my children. My job is to love them. 

As a Christian, I would interject that my job is to love them with the love the Lord has given me. Along with that, I need to share with them the same grace, patience, compassion, and gentleness which God has given to me.  Wow -- that is a tall order, and one in which I often fail. Too many times I am demanding, harsh, impatient, and unbending. That behavior comes from wanting to "fix" them. I need to move to a place of love.

When my children feel accepted, understood, and loved, then they can accept my love and direction.

If they don't feel like I love them, then how can they possibly hear me, even though I may be speaking absolute truth into their lives? If they believe they "can never measure up" to my impossible standards, then they will tune me out before I even begin.

I am responsible for the way I react to the circumstances of my life.

When I wonder whatever happened to that wonderful, fun-to-be-around person I once was, I tend to blame the people around me for making me that way. On more than one occasion, I have told them, "I used to be a really fun person. I want to be nice." What a horrible guilt trip to lay on anyone, especially my children. The real reason I have changed is because I have put a wall around my heart. I have allowed my heart to harbor anger and bitterness, and I am the one who has chased away that fun person I used to be. My family deserves to have the creative, fun, loving mom God created me to be.

It is never too late to change.

In my head, I have always known this to be true, but now I am embracing this with my heart. This pain in my life is not "the cross I have to bear." I am no longer going to struggle to just get through the day. I am going to embrace my life with all of its imperfections. The past is the past. It is time to start with the present and live each day in the fullness of God's love and grace.

The only people who truly LIVE are those who LOVE.
Let that one soak in for a while. I believe it has the power to change your life.