That's Not FAIR!!!!!!

"Mommmmm, that's not FAIR!"

How many times have I heard that statement? Oh, only about a billion...so far! 

I am always tempted to respond with the stock answer, "Sorry, Honey, but LIFE isn't fair!" 

Like every savvy mother, I know my children don't really care about whether things are fair or not. What they really mean is, "I'm mad because I'm not getting my way." At the root of the "it's not fair" argument is selfishness. "I want what I want when I want it."  I am quick to point out the folly of their reasoning and the source of their misconceptions, but for some reason, there is no change of heart, and the litany of "That's not fair" continues.

After 21 years of motherhood, I am seeing some patterns emerge. One of the most consistent is this: when I see sinful behavior in my children, it usually mirrors the same sin in my life. Even though I am not hollering, "That's not fair" out loud, in my heart, I often whine to God about all the injustices in my life. But when I look to the Bible, I find that there is no place where it is mentioned that I should expect life to be fair, and fairness is never listed as one of the attributes of God.

Deuteronomy 32:4 says:

He is the Rock, His works are perfect, 
and all His ways are just. 
A faithful God who does no wrong, 
upright and just is He.

Do I really believe His ways are perfect and just, and God does no wrong? In my heart, I know these words are true, but are they a reality in my life? When I am honest, I must admit I often sound like a whiny child crying out to God, "It's not fair...."

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew, Chapters 5, 6, and 7) teaches us that when we are doing the work of Jesus, there is no time for us to stand up for ourselves. Jesus says we shouldn't be wasting time looking to see if we are being dealt with fairly or justly. When we catch ourselves doing so, it is a sign that we are falling short in our devotion to Him. 

In his classic devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers wrote:

"Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it. If we look for justice, we will begin to grouse and to indulge in the discontent of self-pity...If we are devoted to Jesus Christ we have nothing to do with what we meet, whether it is just or unjust."

Just like my children cry out for fairness when they don't get their own way, I look for ways to justify my selfish desires. I want to be appreciated. I want to be noticed. I want to be obeyed. I want, I want, I want. Instead of trusting God with all of my heart, I lean to my own understanding. And I imagine my heavenly Father shakes His head in disappointment, wondering when I will truly believe that He is righteous and just and perfect in all of His ways. 

No, life will be never be fair, but God will always be just. As He patiently works in my heart to bring me to a place of peace and rest and contentment, I can relinquish my will to His and devote myself to serving Him. Only when my children see a genuine selfless spirit in me, can I ever hope to see a selfless spirit in them.